We equate wholeness with perfection, with having it all together, with success. Yet the meaning of wholeness is perhaps just the opposite.
Wholeness, at its very core, implies rather than an absence of brokenness, the innate existence of a fractured, fragile, astoundingly imperfect self. Wholeness, is about embracing our brokenness as an integral part of life.
For most of my life, I longed to be whole. I was hungry for it. Desperate. I became vigilant, some might say obsessed with achieving, attaining. My focus was on becoming as perfect as I could be, on removing any faults or defects. For me, the finish line of success was where I would become whole.
As I walked through the “season of my undoing” and stumbled upon the door of my healing, I discovered that I could lay down this mountain of pain I had been carrying, that I didn’t have to become perfect, that I could accept, even embrace my brokenness.
Embracing my brokenness allows me breathe.
It is exhausting to carry the weight of shame and fear on my shoulders. Impossible to bear up under such an insurmountable and unforgiving oppressor – me.
My Abba Father whispered to my soul, Child, Why do you carry such a weight when my Son already carried it for you?
He hung on the cross for every broken place, every shame, every sorrow. Our past was redeemed. Our present is His gift to us, free and clear. And our future is secure. Why do we insist on placing the weight of our shame back on our shoulders?
I think that if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him. _C.S. Lewis
Wholeness allows me to see myself as God sees me, through the eyes of love, of grace, of compassion as big as the universe. Through His tender, aching eyes I can see more clearly who I am. I am His beloved.
Embracing my brokenness allows me to have greater communion with others.
Comparison is the thief of intimacy. External validation is but heroin to a broken, striving soul. And thus we can never truly be with others as long as we are so terribly needy of them for our fulfillment.
We all come to the table of community broken. We are all like Peter himself, stumbling along our journeys with Jesus, bringing our mess-ups and our failings, our weakest sensibilities to our brothers and sisters in Christ. To be encouraged, strengthened, comforted, and built up together. Yes, together.
Settling into a newfound rhythm of release—from needing what others cannot give, and embracing an identity that no one can steal away—we are at once home with our brothers and sisters. Accepting their humanity allows us to embrace our own.
As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down you cannot see something that is above you. _C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
Embracing my brokenness creates greater intimacy with God.
Nothing stands between us. No longer needing pretense to validate my existence, I can allow myself to come right up to His outstretched arms and dive in. I am utterly and divinely safe. I have no need to hide. No need to fear. He is here. He is with me. Embracing my brokenness tears down the wall and creates full, unfettered intimacy and vulnerability with the Creator of my soul.
Isaiah 53:5 (NIV) tells us, But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.
How can it be? When we’re naked and ashamed and alone in our brokenness, Christ envelops us with His intimate grace. When we’re rejected and abandoned and feel beyond wanting, Jesus cups our face: “Come close, my Beloved.” When we’re dirty and tear-stained and despairing, Jesus Christ is attracted to us and proposes undying love: “All that you’re carrying I take… and all that I am is yours.” How do you ever get over that? _Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way
Embracing my brokenness allows my authentic self to grow.
I am learning to see all the parts and pieces of me as one singular, beautiful mosaic. As I learn to hold the myriad of shapes and shards in my hands, I can finally see them through the eyes of compassion, as He sees them. This is the sacred place where God moves me from being healed to being whole.
God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever. _ Vance Havner
Brokenness keeps me planted in the good soil of redemption.
Brokenness keeps me drenched in the love I cannot live without.
Brokenness is the one thing that keeps me reaching for, clinging to the Truth that molds me, and transforms me into who I am not yet, but who I am becoming.
Brokenness does not make me weak. It is perhaps the strongest part of who I am.
Because in my most broken, wounded, fragile places, I know He is strong.
About This Community
Don’t we all want a little peace? My heart for this community is to provide just that – a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships. Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!
About Peace for a Lifetime
In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I’ve discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!
Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.
Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891
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